Anger is a normal emotional reaction to a less than desirable result, but having a short fuse indicates something deeper is wrong. If you get mad easily, I feel for you. Life is hard for people who are quick to anger – for people like me – or like I used to be anyway. We bring so much heartache on ourselves because of it. It took me years to stay calm in situations that aggravated me and even longer to ignore things I had no control over. I’m still working on it, but I’ve mostly conquered it. First, I recognized it; next, I gave up believing I was justified in it; then, I got to the root of it; and finally, I moved past it. With some self-reflection, meditation and prayer, and strategic use of essential oils, you can too.

If that doesn’t work for you, an article from the Mayo Clinic says the best way to control anger is through “expression, suppression, and calming down.” They also warn us how evidence shows “that anger and hostility is linked with heart disease, high blood pressure, peptic ulcers and stroke.”

So – anything that helps you get to the root of what is causing your outbursts helps. Just make sure what you reach for promotes emotional and physical stability and health. Essential oils used either topically or aromatically will help you dig out these demons, vanquish them for good, and heal your body, mind, and spirit.

Using essential oils, practicing meditation, engaging in prayer, writing in my journal, setting boundaries, and getting physical exercise continue to help me the most.

Anger as a Learned Behavior

Though I’ve never been psychoanalyzed for it, I can tell you without a doubt that my once angry reactionary nature was a learned behavior. People in my family anger quickly – loud, yelling, flitting, spitting – ranting venomous diatribes shouted about to ease their pain. When I grew up, people just didn’t talk about their problems. They mocked them. On the surface, feelings didn’t seem to matter. Life existed as an every-person-for-him/herself proposition. Sink or swim – it’s your choice. Not my circus, not my monkey – insensitive stuff like that.

Much later in life I learned that anger is a symptom of a deeper emotional problem. Sometimes it’s a physical issue causing a negative emotional reaction. Both need to be dealt with to stop the psychological pain and physical damage they cause.

So why do some people anger so quickly?

In the article, “What It’s Like Having a Parent With Borderline Personality Disorder,” author Imi Lo describes how something deeper may cause people to lash out. However, she also suggests that parents who have “difficulties with their own emotional regulation” doesn’t mean that their children have to suffer the same fate.

Emotions underlying anger

The next time you get angry, ask yourself if one of the items on this list is what you’re really feeling. Question what you are reacting to and why you are having such an intense emotional response to it. About 30 years ago, I read the main reason anyone gets angry is that their feelings have been hurt. Here are some other possibilities.

• insecurity
• fear
• anxiety
• loneliness
• stress
• memories

Causes of angry physical reactions

Sometimes people anger quickly because their physical needs are not being met. Other times they get angry from being hungry, thirsty, or cold. All three conditions are inherent fearful physical reactions to the possibility of starvation, dehydration, or freezing to death, so the underlying cause of the anger is the emotion of fear.

Physical ailments can also result from pent up anger in need of release. For some people with anger management issues, he following ailments can turn into life-threatening health issues that go completely unnoticed.

According to the Better Health Channel:

Some of the short- and long-term health problems that have been linked to unmanaged anger include:

• headaches
• digestion problems, such as abdominal pain
• insomnia
• increased anxiety
• depression
• high blood pressure
• skin problems, such as eczema
• heart attack

Single Essential Oils

• Bergamot
• Lavender
• Myrrh
• Roman Chamomile
• Ylang Ylang

Essential Oil Blends

• Valor
• Sacred Mountain
• Harmony
• Forgiveness
• Stress Away
• Peace and Calming

If you struggle with anger issues, please get help. Find someone to talk to who can help you manage it before it destroys your health and well-being and that of loved ones or others around you. Incorporate meditation, deep breathing, yoga, stretching, prayer, and essential oils to calm yourself – anything that doesn’t further the self-destruction that comes with excessive rage – because you’re worth it. Amen Clinics is a great place to start.

Have you overcome anger management issues? If so, and you’re comfortable sharing how you did it, please do. We can all learn from each other.